Welcome to exam season! It’s that time of year again, when stress levels are high and temperatures are dropping by the hour. Here at the Gazette, we’ve put our heads together to think up some stress relief ideas Western could implement to ward off our exam blues. Amit and Emily — keep reading; we’re talking to you.

LCBO in the UCC. What better way to make it through midterms — and the upcoming holidays — than with a bottle of wine or your favourite brew? Going off campus is nearly impossible, so please, bring the drinks to us.

Designated napping areas. Sometimes the best way to study is through osmosis, with your head on a textbook. Weldon and other buildings should be lined with futons for our napping convenience. Libraries should also consider loaning out Snuggies and teddy bears too — for the most extreme stress cases.

Increase student-to-puppy ratio on campus. Seriously, there just aren’t enough puppies around these days.

Snow. Hey Mother Nature, could you get on that? If it’s going to be cold out, you might as well cover up with some white stuff. And with the bus strike still going strong, it’d be nice to have some convenient explanatory leverage in case we sleep through our morning midterms.

Light up campus like Victoria Park. Nothing brings holiday cheer more than twinkle lights. While you’re at it, why not turn University College Hill into a tobogganing slope and bring back the skating rink to Concrete Beach.

Rick Night every night. ‘Nuff said.

Free stuff. The following things would exponentially increase our happiness: Free coffee vouchers, free drink tickets, free study munchies, free marks, free hugs.

Chakma Claus. Come on Amit, don the red suit, grow some facial hair and make our childhood dreams come true. We’d love to sit on your knee and tell you our wish list. We promise not to cry — much.

Prizes for the first person done the exam. You know if you’re done first, you probably did something wrong. So please, soften the blow of our impending failure with a gift card. Just not to the Bookstore. That would be cruelly ironic.

Massages on campus. What do our students’ council staff do while we’re writing exams? Not much, of course. Let’s change their job titles during the midterm season to “Professional Masseuses.”

Study day? Pssh. Give us a study week. Or month. Heck, cancel exams all together. Now that’d make for happy holidays.