I’m pretty sure everyone is thinking it, so I’ll just go ahead and say it: kids these days are idiots.

This is probably an opinion adopted by many people as they age, and it probably won’t be long until I start telling you to get off my lawn. But before I start lecturing nobody in particular about how cans of pop only used to cost a dollar, allow me to share a story.

The other day, one of my roommates noticed the original Power Rangers was being shown on television. After high-fiving each other for about 10 minutes, we all sat down to relive some front-flipping glory from our youth.

But the giddy grins on our faces quickly reverted as we realized Power Rangers has been ruined. When slime suddenly dumped on one of the characters, the word “splat” appeared comically across the screen. When the show returned from commercials, there was a recap of what had happened over the last five minutes. It was as if kids cannot appreciate a show unless they are constantly being bombarded with gimmicky junk on the screen, and being constantly reminded of what had just happened.

After regaining my balance from the throttling my childhood had just received, I realized the state of kids’ television has degenerated to the point of being unrecognizable in comparison to what we used to enjoy.

There is no modern equivalent to The Magic School Bus or Bill Nye the Science Guy. Children interested in science, geography or history used to be able to flip on the television and learn while being entertained. The only show I’ve seen today that looks like it might be trying to educate kids is Dora the Explorer. This show, however, seems to only be useful if you want to learn about Spanish and exploring. Sorry, curious five-year-olds of today — unless you’re aspiring to be Juan Ponce de León, you’re out of luck.

Imagination seems to be a thing of the past. You might have once found children building their own world out of Legos, or learning the countries of the world in the form of a song. Now you’ll find them on their cell phones, showing off their lack of understanding of the English language. You might also find them staring mindlessly at whatever Miley Cyrus is trying to pass as a television show.

Children are like sponges — they’ll soak up whatever is in the puddle we toss them into, even if that puddle is garbage juice. Ultimately, we have the responsibility of making sure the next generation is exposed to quality programming.

If your son or your niece or your little cousin asks you to watch The Jonas Brothers with them, do not hesitate to lock them in the basement with only a bowl of water and a season of The Animaniacs. It may seem cruel at first, but years down the road when they’re all grown up, and you’re released from prison, they’ll thank you for it.