In the year 2010, sex has gone virtual.

Today, users log onto fantasy worlds, where they can interact — and have sex — with millions of people from around the world.

As far as who you are, or pretend to be, the options are limitless when it comes to Massively multiplayer online role-playing games (MMORPGs). In a game like World of Warcraft, not only is your gender a choice, but even remaining human is optional. Gamers can represent themselves in countless avatar forms, from Dwarves and Gnomes to Orcs and Trolls.

Second Life, another virtual community, is well known for its red light districts — designated areas where avatars can engage in sexual activities ranging from flirtation to consensual intercourse. In another game called Final Fantasy XI, players looking for more than a physical relationship can exchange their vows and rings in a formal wedding ceremony.

For many, these virtual worlds are more than a few hours of entertainment or sexual fantasy; they are places to establish long-term relationships.

“Right now, the lines are so fuzzy on the issue of whether virtual sex is really sex,” says Jennifer Martin, lecturer in the faculty of information and media studies.

It’s the hotly debated question among academics and experts in the cyber community — what is “real?”

Martin pointed to the large number of instances where couples are married in real-life as well as in their avatar-forms.

“Online engagements can be just as valid or as important for people as offline engagement, so I’d hesitate to draw a line,” explains Martin. “What’s role-play and fantasy for one person can be very real and important for another.”

Ian Schreiber is the forum moderator for the Sex and Games special interest group of the International Game Developers Association and has worked as a designer on a Playboy-branded console game.

When it comes to sex in cyberspace, Schreiber agrees the line between “real” and “fantasy” is difficult to distinguish. “Obviously there is no physical contact, and no risk of [sexually transmitted infections] or pregnancy, so in that respect it isn’t real,” he explains. “On the other hand, the feelings and emotional connection can be very real, given the right partners.”

For this designer, the most important thing is for players to be up front about what they want out of virtual romances to avoid being — or causing — hurt. The anonymity that MMORPGs provide means identity and age are easily misrepresented, leaving many players open and vulnerable to deceit.

Meghan Boast is a psychotherapist at the Advantage Professional Counselling Centre in Ingersoll. She says online games can be dangerous if people use them to replace real-life interactions.

Boast recalls a young client who came for therapy after being lured across the American-Canadian border. The young gamer was enticed by an older player through World of Warcraft and was convinced their characters had established an emotional bond.

Boast cautions online games can be dangerous if individuals depend on them to meet people and establish relationships. “It’s a social outlet where you don’t have to leave your home […] It creates a false sense of security and connection,” she says.

Guy Grenier, sex therapist and psychology professor at Western, compared the dangers of virtual romance to gambling. “If you want to go to the casino for a night of entertainment, and you can afford losing whatever money you take […] then that’s fine. But when you start making compromises with other real-world aspects of your life, then you’ve got a problem.”

Despite the possible hazards of relationships in online games, many argue these dangers are the exception.

Owen Livermore is a PhD candidate and lecturer in FIMS. He says the media’s language is often “sensationalist” and “alarmist” when addressing romance and sexual activity online.

“One of the major points of contention seems to be that [virtual] relationships are limited and/or unauthentic because online interaction necessarily implies an altered or incorrect version of the self,” he explains.

Livermore sees it differently.

“Here’s the big question: given the fact that many of us spend considerable time online, is our online self any less authentic than the self we form and reveal to others in real life?”

Indeed, that is the question of the day. In a world where sex can be virtual or physical, and your partner can be a human or Orc, our lines between fantasy and real-life are growing increasingly blurred.