I don’t even know where to begin with the nightmare that was the musical performances at Sunday night’s closing ceremonies. I’ll start with Nickelback, because it was mostly downhill from there.

I don’t think I have to bash the Alberta band, because according to the outbursts of frustration on Twitter and Facebook, it’s safe to say many Canadians were outraged and embarrassed to see Chad Kroeger’s artificial blonde highlights gleam on the Olympic stage.

Nickelback is one of the best selling bands in Canada, but so what? Does that mean they should be a guaranteed performance at the Games? Recently, a pickle beat out Nickelback for more fans on Facebook, with 1.4 million members — if that’s not an indication of why a band shouldn’t represent a country at an Olympic ceremony, I don’t know what is.

I wasn’t actually surprised to see Nickelback perform. But I was surprised to see the ensuing string of pseudo-punk, under-talented, wannabe hipsters who followed. It was like a nightmare that got progressively worse.

When we were still reeling from Nickelback’s set, Avril Lavigne, who hasn’t done much lately other than divorce that guy from Sum 41 and star in a few Canon commercials, took to the spotlight and sang “Girlfriend” — an old song with disgracefully superficial lyrics, especially for the Olympics.

After a slightly redeeming performance by Alanis Morissette, who unfortunately didn’t sing any of her most popular material, things started to decline once again with performances by Hedley and Simple Plan.

Sure, these artists have achieved commercial success and maybe they have a couple of catchy songs — but pre-teen idols like Lavigne, Hedley and Simple Plan should not be our musical representatives to the world. Neil Young and Morrisette’s subdued, simple performances easily stole the show. Even Michael Bublé in his rather risqué RCMP number had people laughing with him not at him.

My question is, where were artists like Feist, The Tragically Hip or Our Lady Peace? I would have even rather seen Céline Dion up there belting out “My Heart Will Go On” because at least she’s an undeniable Canadian icon. Aren’t we known for our indie, folk and authentic acoustic music rather than the crass commercialized crap that seems more American than anything?

This Olympics was about the world taking us seriously on an athletic stage, and our athletes certainly accomplished that goal — but musically, we definitely did not own the podium.