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No tricks on Halloween

Halloween is better than Christmas. There, I said it.

Now for those of you who think I must be the spawn of Satan to choose this autumnal holiday over the birth of Jesus Christ and the beautiful commercialization that is Christmas, let me explain.

Halloween is like a fine wine—it gets better with age. Was Halloween the highlight of my year when I was seven years old? No. I was pretty damn excited about some magical jolly old elf plunging down my chimney—despite the fact it wasn’t connected to our fireplace—and delivering me as many Pound Puppies as my heart desired.

But one day, the magical bell of belief grew silent for me, and I was filled with despair, accompanied in my misery by the defamation of the Easter Bunny. But Halloween was always there for me. My world was never rocked by finding out the Great Pumpkin wasn’t real—to Mr. Schulz’s disappointment, I’m sure—nor was I overly upset when the pillow cases of free candy faded into no more than a childhood memory.

In fact, despite a dry spell from the ages of 13-16, Halloween as a whole has greatly improved.

You graduate from spending your pre-Halloween days watching such plot-rich classics as Halloweentown and Hocus Pocus to watching Ghostface and Michael Myers ripping out the innards of sexually promiscuous teens, washed down with Saw XXV.

Not to mention costumes only get better and better. Once your parents no longer force you to wear a parka under every costume, you can traipse the streets of London in a slutty Disney princess costume, getting treats of a different kind.

And finally, ghosts, ghouls and the paranormal in general only seem to get more real as you get older, unlike Santa Claus. You can spend your evenings reading up on the Amityville Horror, Mothman prophecies or Edward Gein, while developing crippling insomnia in the process.

Halloween isn’t perfect. Doing the walk of shame in a big bird costume can definitely be a low point, but for the most part the “joy” of the holiday endures time, more than any other holiday.

This Monday night, I know where I’ll be. I’ll be carving my Jack-O-Lantern, handing out candy to children, and savouring my last few moments of Halloween bliss before Christmas carols start blaring on November 1.

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