In a shocking turn of events, Provost Janice Deakin has revealed herself to be critically acclaimed Hollywood superstar Jamie Lee Curtis, star of Halloween, Freaky Friday and Beverley Hills Chihuahua.
"I'm tired of living a lie," writes Deakin in a press release. "I'm ready for the world to know that I am, in fact, Jamie Lee Curtis."
Deakin was born to actors Janet Leigh and Tony Curtis in 1958. By the late 1970s she became one of Hollywood's biggest stars, notable for her work in slasher horror films, like Halloween III: Season of the Witch.
But following the 2003 blockbuster smash hit Freaky Friday with Teen Choice award-winning actress Lindsay Lohan, her career stagnated.
Tired of the travails of Hollywood life, Curtis disappeared from the silver screen and transitioned into a much more lucrative career in university administration.
"She was sick of people not taking her seriously. She wanted to give back to the world, especially to young people," says Lulu Jones, a childhood friend of Deakin/Curtis.
After forging her records and undergoing some plastic surgery, she began her career as Western's provost in 2010.
But the plastic surgery and name change wasn't enough. Rumours quickly began to swirl that she was related to Curtis.
University President Amit Chakma admits that he never noticed.
"In retrospect, it seems so obvious," he says. "Like Clark Kent taking off his glasses."
Inspired by her work as a university administrator, Deakin took the role of Dean Munsch in Scream Queens co-starring another Hollywood legend, Emma Roberts. With the help of her plastic surgeon, Dr. Simon Ourian (that's right, the Kardashian's surgeon) she switched between being Deakin and Curtis.
But after nearly a decade at Western, Deakin's ready to return to her life as Curtis.
"I've enjoyed my time here at Western, but I want to return to my life in Hollywood," Deakin/Curtis said in an exclusive interview to the Western Geographic. "Among my greatest accomplishments in life are my Golden Globe nomination, my role in Scream Queens and moving Homecoming to October."