Some winter wonderland our campus turned out to be. The true north strong and free has provided the ultimate test for Trudaddy: we may have to forgive his evasive answers when he comes to visit Western, given the dazed effects that result from exposure to the industrial freezer that is London, Ont. In order for us to survive this frozen hell, the Gazette gives you tips and tricks to battle the snow and come out on top.
Your education might cost a bajillion dollars, but all that knowledge will be useless if your frostbitten fingers can’t type up citations at the end of your paper. Prioritize your health by staying inside and keeping your vital organs warm.
Get a sex life
Some people love Tinder; some people hate it. Either way, Tinder can help you facilitate coital relationships. The frequent sex will keep you hot and heavy with the added bonus of post-coitus snuggles to share your misery or spread the pre-midterm joy.
Resort to theft
Having roommates provides a plethora of benefits. You already snake them with chores, so why not snake them for their warm winter clothes? See an expensive Canada Goose jacket? Take it. It's not savage; it's just survival of the fittest.
Burn your textbooks
Let’s face it, it can be pretty expensive to heat your student home, so why not kill two birds with one stone by burning your old textbooks? Besides providing a cozy fire, you’ll be sticking it to the man by casually doing away with your overpriced manuals.
We at the Gazette realize this may not be the most comprehensive list, but this is all we were able to type from behind the safety of our insulated Snuggies. We hope this will help our fellow embattled students and wish you all the best in your struggle against the bitch that is Mother Nature.